Change, Not Always a Positive

Change. It is something I have gotten used to over the past few months because of grad and whatnot.

But there is always some sort of change that I never want to experience. Mostly involving friends.

The thing about friends is that they get older, and so do you, so that old bffl thing can actually be a total farce. I know this for a fact, because it happen to me recently.

I don't want to go into detail about what happened, but long short of it was that decisions were made, people got hurt, and I was left without a best friend, and since then, neither of us have talked, and to be brutally honest, I think it should stay that way, for a very long long time. Either till I decide to be a complete push over and decide that our past friendship is worth something or worth rekindling, or if that person makes some decisions themselves.

The point that I am trying to make here is that friends are great, yes they are, I'm not saying anything against having them because I have a lot of amazing friends, but trust is surely and issue in friendship, and if that in non existant, well, let's just say, you should see the signs, I certainly wish I had.

People tried to warn me, for months and months, at first I thought it was just jealously of a friendship that I had with this person, but I soon found out that was not the case, and that my friends were very much right

I have learned a lot from this experience. Somethings however, I would have rather to have had them later, especially when things that were so important were happening in my life. I would have liked to be uninvolved with the entire ordeal, but because of the friendship I had with the individual, I felt it was my right to fight, when really I should have done what I am doing now, back down, and letting that person live their own life.

I know, that probably sounds cowardly, but assure you me, it was the best option. It was the option that allowed for me to stop getting hurt. To stop having to have an empty pit in my stomach wondering how I could fix everything.

Things have gotten better since I have just let life move on in my own direction. Better perhaps. I saw this person the other day, I felt no regret to what I did, I knew what I did was right, whether the effects of it were positive or not.

I sometimes wonder how that person feels, but I often find myself stopping my thoughts realizing how uncomplicated my life has become since then and realize that it was probably for the better... but I will always remember this time, the time I lost a friend for reasons that I could not control.

"It's sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew"

- Henry Rollins

That is All.

Westie<3

ps. Sorry these have been slightly sad-ish lately I have more great stories to tell!

The End

High School, for me, is finished.

And wow it doesn't feel like it.

Let me just explain how things went down.

First, I had prom.

Now, I was super pumped pumped... PUMPED for prom
As I got my make up done, my hair done, and finally stepping into my aqua blue "princess" dress I realized that I had been waiting so very long for this day, and it would soon be a reality.
I drove to prom then, in a cherry red dodge charger to enjoy my evening

I soon felt like a celebrity, My cousin's wife to be was there to take pictures, as well as a friend, and an old friend that had just started a photography business full time

Lots and lots of pictures, then came time to go to prom itself.

Now, I am a pretty, per say, interesting person, so not only did I bust out some SWEET dance moves at prom , but I also got people doing absolutely insane moves with me..
One thing I will never forget about this day was dancing with one of my dearest and closest friends, Ward (the boy version:))

The poor kid had surgery on his knee but we still danced, and I'll never forget it " every rose has its thorn after all".

Safe grad was good, really enjoyable.. except the fact that before I got there I was SUPER grumpy.. mostly because I hadn't eaten since 3 pm... and it was 12? something like that either way, me without food does not get along

I had long anticipated graduation day, 1- because it is super exciting and 2- because I was most definitely LAST-- (name West)

Anyway, as I waited the ENTIRE day to pass by I decided to drop my to see my grade 4's that I grew to love during my co op program, and they loved me.

Went I finally got home I literally INSTANTLY started getting ready...it took a while I wanted everything to be perfect

A few things went wrong, parents couldn't find their tickets, and as it turned out, I had them, and I was literally DYING of heat while waiting for at least a half an hour.

After walking in, to be honest, I don't remember much else, it felt more like a dream that I would wake up from, and eventually come true, someday, but not that day. It was a haze, an memory, and scary as all get out.

Finally the letter t-z were called ( last last last!) and I walked over, saw Ward (he) and smiled, and finally my name was called. Most people WALK across the stage.. however, I walked out, did a little jump, and kept on going... all smiles.. and perhaps a bit of embaressment for my father.. oh well.. it kinda just came out

After we threw our hats into the air, we booked'er out of there and made our way to the gym, where Murray and I LITERALLY ran our hearts out, and boys oh boys... we made a lot of noise

As we raced to the gym, we flew down the stairs.. I grabbed a wrap... (yes!) and a drink... finally, and felt a lot better, I was soon taking pictures with all my friends, and enjoying my last few minutes with the people I knew and loved.

Murray and I made a run to McDicks.. to basically shove out faces with food, I blasted Glee on my way home, and loved life!

As I woke up the next morning, it didn't seem possible that I had graduated the night before, I gathered all of my things, and prepped to get ready to get my report card. So I piled everything into my car and left.

I stopped to get a picture for Hudson that was taken at grad the night before that more or less described us as friends easily.

I got to school talked with some teachers, gave Hudson his gift ( a survival pack for Uni ) and walked around the school, for the last time as a student. I sat with Buchanan in the Auditorium and I cried. I am not a person who does a lot of crying, and for me to do so about school was an extreme shock.

School is a gift, I often wished for it to be over and done with, and now it is. And frankly, I have a feeling deep within my of confusion and in a way regret, wondering if I had done more, would I be a better person today.

But then I thought about it, I grew as a person, and as a student, I had my path, and other people had theirs. That is how it was, and that is why I am satisfied with who I am today, A MHS grad, moving on to face things that I could never face without MHS, Rugby, Friends, Family, Teachers, life lessons, and so on.

God Bless the Grads of 2010,
I will miss you all dearly

That is all.

Westie<3

"What's up" -- on YOUTUBE-- "oh"

Youtube

A classic, usually , non disgusting videos for entertainment

like,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NaLbuOAB-SM&playnext_from=TL&videos=brbwbfL7Zr8

or

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ymi52UbGEZM&playnext_from=TL&videos=8q6h0hodVfQ

or

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tx1XIm6q4r4&playnext_from=TL&videos=FaZXdohAB6U

or even

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gtkU2ch0sRI&playnext_from=TL&videos=bRWOhzQuw5c

All of these videos provide lovely, slightly hilarious, music, songs, spoofs, push up bras, snapes, and the lovely stylings of Glee and Sam Tsui

But I have to say, I was not always the fan of YouTube, I just assumed it was the stylings of those who were bored, jobless, or just plain stupid

Plus, it took me 20 bajillion years to load a youtube video

I'm talking like 3 hours.. for it to be half way

Until I got highspeed (SCORE)

However, my day came, and that day changed my life forever

I was slacking in my first semester English class (no surprise there) when Buchanan decided he wanted to show me a video... I was like oh sure, why not... So I agreed, the video would have been great.. he figured I would love it...
So we waited..
However, the lovely school internet decided to be A SNAIL

So, I couldn't watch it...
that's okay

So I went home on the bus... and I do.. love to hate the bus

I got home, and I had NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING to do, so, i figured, hope on facebook.. there is always something there... not so much

So I decided to look up the video Ryan tried to show me

I just sat there and stared, so intoxicated by this video, I watched more and more, and then I realized my parents were home, and I had to get up,
but it didn't stop there.

I have talked about my concussion in rugby before, but when I got home one night, I found a series on youtube, and I was hooked, I couldn't drop it, I just couldn't stop

My love continued, and from there I have become a Youtube Junkie, and I am NEVER going back!

That is all

Westie<3

ps. Check out those videos I provided the link for above, they are great

Foreplay/ Longtime

Literally my title reflects that I have not written in ,well, forever, and the fact that that song is my ever so depressing grad song.

ugh, I wanted the littlest hobo theme song, or great big sea, walking on the moon, but somehow my excellent taste in music was KICKED OUT OF LIFE

Anyway, I am graduating in a few days, woo!

I actually can't believe it, it's actually nuts, prom is tuesday, and grad is thrusday... geez

So as I sit here whitening my teeth, I think about my future,
what it will be like, and what in the world I will be doing in even a few short years.
I guess Boston kinda got it right


"There's a long road, I've gotta stay in time with
I've got to keep on chasin' that dream, though I may never find it
I'm always just behind it."

but at the same time...
HOW DEPRESSING IS THAT!

Honestly, I will be bawling my eyes out thinking that I will never do what I really want to do in life. What that is at this point however is unknown, I was thinking princess.. or rockstar... but I decided a family life would be much more rewarding somewhere along the way.

Imagine this

Graduation night, you are sitting there, and you look just like every single one of the people sitting waiting to graduate.

You look around and notice this and think, "who will be successful? who won't be, and will their current popularity in high school make ANY difference in the future. More than likely the answer to that is no. The most popular girl in school could end up falling in love with the nerd of the class in 5-10 years or so, time changes people, in the way they look, and how they are as a person.

"Well I get so lonely when I am without you
But in my mind, deep in my mind,
I can't forget about you
Good times, and faces that remind me
I'm tryin' to forget your name and leave it all behind me
You're comin' back to find me"

That is what Boston could mean here. In the future, you will remember certain things, and certain events about people, but it doesn't mean that you will look at them the same way, you could perceive them in a completely different light.

The more I think about this grad song, I see it as a sad song, but I also see it as a moving on song, a future song that talks about how the people and things will be "deep in our minds" but won't totally effect who we will become as people in the future.

To my grad class, think about this song ( no matter how much you hate it or love it ) and know that it is just a song, and in our future we may not even remember what our grad song ever was. .

That is all,
Westie<3

The Last Day

Sadness
That's how I felt today.
There was a reason for this, it was the last day "officially" of my highschool career.
I figured that I would have been happy when this day came, but the truth it that it isn't the case whatsoever.

As I walked into the building of all buildings this morning, a wave of sadness washed over me. It was like I had never felt so emotional, think about something like school.

To think that now I was dealing with such a sadness was so hard.

Each class was a painful reminder that it was in fact the very last day ever.

But at the same time, I felt as if the day would never end.

Langdo and I left during third period to go to lunch, at which point we decided to throw a going away party for Hudson.

We ate, got chips/ pop etc.

The 4th rolled around nothing happened.

Then came 5th.

The class and some friends of the class came and surprised Hudson. Which was awesome.

But then, something happened to me, something that doesn't happen to me ever. I started to cry.

I tried to inform everyone that I had no tear ducts and that it was not possible, but I just couldn't prove it. The fact was I was sad, and I could no longer hide it. I could no longer be the tough rugby player that everyone knows and loves, when really I am this HUGE softy and to be honest, I don't how to handle it.

The sad thing is is that no one really knows me enough to know how sensitive I am.
Except one person now, and believe it or not, that person is Hudson.

For some reason, somewhere along the way, I was able to feel comfortable and shed those few tears in my heart that were tearing me apart. So, I did.

After school had ended I just sat there for a while. I sat, and I sat, and I sat.

Finally, I got up and left. Walked to subway, with still a sad look on my face, and sadness in my eyes.

Thankfully for me Hudson kinda cheered me up, made me think of other things, so did Murray (haha) , and my own heart had to do a complete flip.

Still however, I am sad, but you see I am also happy, I am happy for a future, for new things, things will someday sculpt me for who I will be in the future.

That is all--

Westie<3

Narnia- The Adventure

Today, was an adventure,

I was bored, it was raining, I was bored, it was raining

Get my point?

Well, I went through 1st, no change
2nd? not so much
3rd-- it all starts.

I was working... kinda...

But there was something else happening, Clue

Langdo, Hurtado, and Mischiek were playing it

Well, I guess that's not where my adventure began

You see, I have these 3 friends, 2 of which have a brother in my grade...

but that is besides the point

I met these 3 amazing girls while playing rugby this year, all 3 are amazing players. I really have to stop being so sappy. Holy

Murray and I were walking in the halls, and decided to go to our Rugby coach's room
There I ran into Ward, Roy and Sweet.

There my adventure really began

We started gallavanting about the halls, shouting retarded things... when suddenly there was an empty stair way, and Sweet shouted

NARNIA!

that is all.

Westie<3

PS . I do realize that was the most random blog ever, it was more out of request of my friends!