Wow.
holy moses, sweet niblets, mother of all that's holy and good, mother lickin' chicken, what the heck..
You all obviously get my point..
My day today, well, let's just say, didn't start off all that pleasant...
I was feeling extremely down, and to be honest, I'm not sure what it was exactly... and I'm still not sure.
I have times where I don't feel like myself, and I guess today was one of those day, because man... everything was hitting me hard, everything was upsetting me, everything was just feeling like AHHH GET ME OUT OF HERE.
That's how I felt, and that's how I spent almost my entire friday morning/ afternoon feeling... and it sucked. Hardcore.
Everything seemed to touch me the wrong way. On the way to work this morning I "felt" that my mum was over evaluating me, that she kept pushing me to do things.
When I got to work, I felt insanely sick, and I was just so tired, and so agitated, I had a hard time staring at the computer screen, entering data into the computer-- copy, paste repeat, copy, paste, repeat, copy, paste, repeat. Endless, endless, endless.
I suddenly became overwhelmed with everything. A familiar song called "For Good" from the musical Wicked cam onto my Ipod.
I don't always listen to lyrics of a song very well, I just happen to listen a few times and just sing along within a few times of playing the song. For Good is one of my recent favourites, and I just learned it like I would any other song. But today something happened, I took the time, sat there, staring at the wall and listened.
And here is what I heard--
"'Ive heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good "
Let me just tell you, that my eyes quickly became filled with tears. I thought of everything. The friendship lost, the relationships, the hardships, the messes I had gotten myself into. All of it, EVERYTHING. And I couldn't hold back. I sat for a while, and I just thought. If only something right now could go right... anything, I would take it as a sign from God to say- "Sharilyn I am here everything is alright, and you are not alone".
I never thought the message would come through. I got home, and tried to enjoy myself, because for now I am done work, but something was still holding on to my heart and just dragging me down.
After supper had finished, and everything was said and done, everyone was relaxing, and I was fixing my Itunes up. When suddenly my ex soggie pops up on facebook chat.
This was the second time that it had happened and I was like- "oh no.. just what I need right now honestly, another worry added to the list". But as it turned out, it wasn't a worry at all.
He apologized.
I was ABSOLUTELY shocked. Never in a million years would I have expected that to happen. Ever.
But it did.
And there was one thing that made that happen, and that thing happened to be God.
People grow up yes, but they don't just happen to grow up on their own, its not only the path that they have chosen or the lessons that they have given themselves that make them grow up.
It's not only that.
It's also God.
You see, God has changed me-- I wasn't always this nice girl. I had a bout of depression for the longest time, and it took me a while to get over. I was messed up after my ex and I broke up... I didn't know what to think. One thing reached out to me though, and that thing was God. Without him, I would not be the way I am today, nor would I be here period. Time changes people yes. But so, does the power of God.
That is all.
Westie<3
